A Teapot

Tom, a young man in his early 30s was sent to a psychiatric hospital by his family. His friend John was very upset. He believed he was perfectly sane, so he started spending a great deal of time and money to secure Tom’s release. He finally managed to persuade two well known psychiatrists to assess Tom, in the hope that they would realize what a huge mistake had been made.

The day of the assessment finally arrived.

“If you talk to him, you will see what a completely sane man he is” said John.

Tom sat perfectly relaxed while the two psychiatrists asked him questions.

“What will you do when you leave here, will you get a job?”

“Well, I will think about it,” replied Tom.

“Perhaps I will write a book or I may take up painting again”. He paused and smiled to them.

“But on the other hand, I might simply continue to be a teapot!” he added.

The Loan

There was an old Native American who wanted a 5000 loan.

The banker pulled out the loan application, “What are you going to do with the money?”

“Take jewelry to city and sell it,” was the response.

“What have you got for collateral?”

“Don’t know collateral.”

“Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?”

“Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup.”

The banker shook his head, “How about livestock?”

“Yes, I have a horse.”

“How old is it?”

“Don’t know, has no teeth.”

Finally the banker decided to make the $5000 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, “Here to pay.” he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.

“What are you going to do with the rest of that money?”

“Put in tepee.”

“Why don’t you deposit it in my bank,” he asked.

“Don’t know deposit.”

“You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it.”

The elderly man leaned across the desk, “What you got for collateral?”

NYC Beggar

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them
asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his
wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.

The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend’s
act of generosity.

“What on earth did you do that for?” shouts Frank. “You know he’s only going to use it on drugs or booze.”

Matt replies, “And we weren’t?”

Three Moles

Once upon a time, there were three moles living together in a mole-hole, a Papa Mole, a Mama Mole, and a Baby Mole. One morning, the Papa Mole got up and stuck his head out of the mole-hole. “Mmm…” he said, “I smell pancakes!” The Mama Mole got up and stuck her head out of [...] Read more »

Muslamic Infidel’s Ray Guns

Transcript: (The Newsreader): There is a sense of incoherent anger. People are angry, but they can’t explain why. “Hello Sir, Why are you here today?” “I’m here to protest, right… “Cuz I’m goin’ on a march cuz I want Britain to be about British. “I want BRITAIN to be about British. “The interracial laws…the Muslamic [...] Read more »

A Little Monkey Business

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he’s there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey, please”. The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. [...] Read more »

Three Brilliant Office Jokes

A Day Off Sick An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: “I’m sorry, but I’ll not be able to come in today as I’m too sick.” On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: “well, just how [...] Read more »

Department of Fish and Wildlife Warnings

The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as “little bells” on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly. They [...] Read more »

Amazing Anagrams

Dormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in ‘em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z’s Alec Guinness == Genuine Class Semolina == Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I [...] Read more »

31 Jokes for NERDS!

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Murphy’s Law in Sex

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2. Nothing improves with age. 3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again. 4. Sex has no calories. 5. Sex [...] Read more »

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